There is More to Life Than Being Happy

Below is my monthly message for the October 2019 edition of the MHRI newsletter, Focus. You can view Focus online at MedStarResearch.org/FOCUS.

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Dear Friends and Colleagues,

“There is more to life than being happy”

That is the title of a TED talk by Emily Esfahni Smith– it’s a talk I return to often, gaining something new each time which I try to incorporate into my life at home and work. It has continued to have a positive impact on my life and I would like to share it with you today.

Many people believe that the whole purpose of life is pursuing happiness. What’s more, many equate happiness with having the ideal job, perfect boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse, or a beautiful home. The pursuit of happiness becomes a pursuit of these ‘things’. However, the data from multiple studies has shown that chasing happiness in this way ironically makes people unhappy! In fact, it often leads to an emptiness bringing people to ask ‘is this all there is?’

Happiness is defined as a state of comfort and ease which lets you feel good in the moment. The key word in that definition is ‘moment’. The things we equate with happiness do not give long-term fulfillment. Emily Esfahni Smith makes the compelling point that seeking meaning in life is a more fulfilling path. Meaning is defined as belonging to and serving something beyond yourself and developing the best within you. In fact, data (yes – science!!) shows that those seeking meaning are more resilient, do better in school/work and even live longer!

So, how can we live a more meaningful life? She feels there are 4 pillars to having a meaningful life:

• Belonging: being in relationships in which you are valued for who you are intrinsically and where you value others as well; bonds to family, friends, and colleagues
• Purpose: less about what you want than what you give; using your strengths to serve others (e.g., raising your children or healing sick people); the ‘why’ that drives you forward
• Transcendence: lifting yourself above the hustle and bustle of daily life, so your sense of self is connected to something higher. In one experiment (more science!) students were brought into the woods and asked to look up at 200’ tall trees for one minute. After that, tests showed they were less self-centered and gave more generously when given the chance to help someone
• Storytelling: the story you tell yourself about yourself. We are the authors of our life story. The way we see our own life changes how we feel. She told about a man who became paraplegic from an accident. He complained about his situation, the bad break he got and being a victim. He was miserable and he reinforced his unhappiness. However, with time he started to see it differently. “Before my injury my life was purposeless. I partied a lot and was selfish. My injury made me realize I can be a better man.” After telling the new story, he discovered the best within himself, started to mentor kids, and learned that his purpose was serving others.

  
  

On the most recent MHRI associate survey, when asked about what people enjoy most about work, the most common answers were ‘the people I work with’ and ‘the gratifying work we are doing at MedStar’. Those answers demonstrate belonging and purpose. The nature of research (and healthcare) requires a multidisciplinary team which means it is a field that is higher than any one individual.

We are all very fortunate to be in a profession where we are given the opportunity to easily embrace three of the pillars of meaning (belonging, purpose, and transcendence). The last pillar, however, is up to you. What story do you tell yourself about your professional journey? The easy path is to fixate on what does not work rather than having gratitude for what you do have. This TED talk reminds me that the way we tell our own story, how we view our own experience, helps us discover our purpose and meaning in life. Meaning gives fulfillment to life, even when daily events can make happiness in the moment wax and wane.

For me, meaning comes from the sum of healthcare + MedStar + advancing health through research, education and innovation.

Thank you for being part of meaning at MedStar - long-term fulfillment through the work we do together and the impact we have on our community.

Neil

P.S. Mark your calendars now for Monday, April 6, 2020, for the 2020 MedStar Health-Georgetown University Research Symposium! View the flyer here.

Read Focus at MedStarResearch.org/FOCUS.